I think I might be a horrible girlfriend...

Oh. My. God.

I think I might be a horrible girlfriend. I love my boy, don't get me wrong. But...

(You knew there was a "but" in there)

S started talking to me online tonight. Which is fine, we're friends, who used to fuck. A lot. And it would all be fine...

Until I got the invite to come over. We used to live not even a block from each other when I lived at my old place. So he was bummed that I wasn't there any more. He said he could use some company this week since his roommate is gone.

And the bad part is I thought about it.

Mentally smack me upside the head right now. I can take it. And I deserve it.

Yes, in theory I could go over there and we could just hang out and do our friend thing that we do so well. But....

....You never know.

And it doesn't help that I'm horny as HELL.

I NEED TO HAVE SEX.

I'm usually not a sex machine at all, but damn. The Boy and I haven't had sex since around noon on Saturday. And it was a quickie before we went to a wedding.

What am I thinking? I love the Boy. I really do. I love being with him, I love everything about us. It just happens like this though. We're having a rough spot because of the whole me moving thing, and school starting, and he got fired from his job so he's trying to start up his own IBO thing. And what happens, S just comes flying right back into the picture.

I can't fall for it. I love the Boy way too much to screw it up.

And he just asked me how my love life was going.

I'm so worried I'm going to screw up what I have with the Boy. It's the first really great relationship I've ever had. The first functional one, and it's just, it's too good. I've been waiting for something to screw it up, mainly because that's what typically happens to me.

I can't think that way. I have a great boyfriend and things will be amazing.

Sigh.